frustrated with the option

so i know everyone loves options but sometimes I wish some options were never introduced into the situation. We have been struggling with a black cloud for sometime now. It seems to just follow us around. Most people say things happen in threes but for us it happens in fives, sevens and hundreds. Although nothing seems to go right for us I still feel very blessed. I have a great husband, a wonderful child, a roof over my head, food on the table, great family and friends.
The problem I am having is that my wonderful husband came home one day and said he had been talking to a friend at work who had told him about an opportunity over seas with a private company that would pay him anywhere from 10k to 14k a month to do security. He has been having a problem getting a job in his chosen field like the rest of the country. We have tried everything and are still trying daily but he feels like he is not doing his part to take care of this family. I disagree. He is working almost everyday at a job that he isn't thrilled with to make sure we have the things that we do. If he were not taking care of us he would be sitting on his rump and choosing to just wait until something he loved came along.
I love him for everything he does for us and how much he cares about us. But i wish he would have never laid that option on the table because now I feel like a bad wife. I do not by any means want my husband to go to Iraq and risk his life for money. But every time my phone rings and its a bill collector wanting there share my mind wanders to what 10k a month would do for us. No more credit debt no school loans to pay for our business would be paid of completely, all the people we owe money would have there money plus left over for us to buy a house and maybe take that honeymoon we still haven't gotten around too. But MONEY does NOT buy LOVE and HAPPINESS. I know this with every fiber of my being. I trust in God to take care of us and provide for us and this is why im so frustrated with my self. I can't control my thoughts and I hate thinking about it.
So baby im sorry for my thoughts about this. I told you I would never tell you I wanted you to take that job and im telling you the same thing now. I love you and would miss you and worry about you every day but I do want to apologize to you for thinking about the up side of it from time to time. Please forgive me for pondering the material side of things.