long time no type

so it has been awhile since i have written and for those two people that read this im am very sorry. I have just been so caught up in reading, friends,family and bad luck that I just havn't gotten around to it. I am very excited that the warm weather has decided to grace us with her presence. I love the sun and all the funs tuff that goes with it. I cant wait for us to go to the lake every time we get a free chance. The down side.....I am not ready to shop for a new bathing suit and actually wear it out in public. I was hoping this whole running thing would get me down to a shape that I once again could be ok with being in a bathing suit but it hasn't done the trick. I know im not a total fat ass or anything but if only i could look as i did pre baby. I don't think that will ever happen but im still holding out for the sliver of hope.

Inspite all of the bad luck that is following me around these days I for some reason have a cheery attitude towards everything. I have gotten used to everything so i have decided to just go with it. It has to get better one day right?

well that is all for today more tommorow

lots

so it has been a few long weeks. but today was actually a good day. The weather was great the friends were awesome and the family was some what normal. I have been going through so much drama from so many different angles lately that im just warn slap out. Im hoping that things will start to get brighter. On top of everything else it seems I am coming down with an upper respiratory yuckiness. Which leads me to my next segment.

I had my second 5k on Saturday and while I did well on my first one I had higher goals for my self for this one. I wanted to finish with out stopping as well as finish with a lower time. Well I did not accomplish either goal and i have to say that I was very hard on myself for that. I have no excuses for what happened just a recap of the whole thing. It was cold but i was excited. We started up a hill and I thought on the way down this is going to be ok. Then it started....I felt as if a full grown human was sitting on my chest. So i decided to walk for a few minutes and try to get it to stop. Then running again I started to taste blood so I spit and there was blood.(im ok it was just that yucky cold i was talking about) This is when the mental aspect stepped in and I was freaking out that I wasn't ok and that I was sucking. I have an awesome running partner and at this point I wanted to keep up with her but my mind had already given up. This is the part I am disappointed about. I know i should have sucked it up and just run but that is not what happened. I did finish the race and I only was slower by 2 minutes from my first race. I know this isn't horrible seeing as i did walk a lot more than the first one but still i am not happy. So our next race is at the end of may and my goal is to kick ass. I have to redeem my self and bring up my spirits. I want to thank my running buddies and my supporters they were great on saturday and im thankful for them.

boogers

WARNING: If you have a squeamish stomach please do not read.

Thursday morning Cadence woke up not feeling so good. As the weekend has progressed she has gotten worse everyday. She now is running a constant low fever, coughing up flem every few minutes and I believe the green slim from Nickelodeon is streaming out her nose at all times.

Before I had a child I have held many a head over a toilet for a good drunk friend. I have seen some very nasty things on the streets of new Orleans. I have also cleaned up after a few animals in my day. But now i feel that at all times my shirt is covered in some kind of yucky mess. I do not mind whipping a runny nose with my hand if it is the only thing I have at the time. I also have found that I do not mind sticking my nose close to my child's butt knowingly that it is probably not going to smell very good. What happened to me? It is crazy how having a child makes you throw out every personal sense of cleanliness for that of the child.

rain

I love the rain...I hate the waiting for the rain. The humidity out the roof the cloud coverage that makes everything look sad and the feeling that if I leave my comfy couch I just might scare the rain away.
I think I should have been a storm chaser. Im one of the people that step out on the porch when james span is on the tv saying take cover. I love the lightning and the thunder. I have allways wanted to see a tornado. I don't want anyone to get hurt but to see one out in the middle of a field would be incredible.

stress

so stress has become a staple in my life. im not sure that there will ever be a day where something does not go wrong. I know that one day things will get better but for now stress is just like brushing my teeth or getting dressed I know that Tommorow all three of those things will be a part of my day. I have come accustomed to this and accepted it. I have also been trying desperatly to put on a happy face. There are people in my life that need me to be strong. They need me to tell them that everything is going to be ok. And while i know that it will be it is hard to constantly turn on the sunshine. I pray all the time that just one thing will get better so here I sit and wait...thats all I can do is wait...It will happen.

Cadence is my bright spot...she is trying to learn how to jump and it is by far the funniest thing. She bends down and then shoots up and bows out her chest and streches her neck out. She never leaves the ground which makes it all so much funnier.